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Archive for the ‘Musings’ Category

I haven’t been blogging for some time cos I have been stuck in misery and apathy for the past few weeks and even writing, which is my well-loved hobby, felt like medicine that was too bitter to take.

I’m back thanks to Siew Fan, who reminded me that writing is a good way to reconnect with myself, and who knows, one day it might even be transformed into a book.

Yes, writing has always been healing for me, and now that I’m back here, I relish this feeling of having my fingers move all over the keyboard, and to see my thoughts being translated into print on the computer. Writing… i’m back! I don;tk now about it being transformed into a book one day, but i do know that this is a medicine which is greatly healing and sorely missed.

Today I had a great session with Siew Fan. She passed me the link to her blog where she had posted information on the Enneagram, and the kind of issues that each of the 9 personality types has. You may view it here: http://www.healingenergytherapies.com/tag/enneagram-tapping/.

I must say, it’s a fantastic idea to tap along with the statements. Even for an EFT fanatic like me, it can sometimes be very frustrating to not know what to tap on. Even though I know that the words are not the key, they still provide a kind of anchor to grab on to the issue with. If the emotion is there, then it’s alright, but most of the time I’m so disconnected from my own emotions that tapping without words feels like a trial and error kind of deal.

So anyway I tapped for almost an hour today using the statements for Type 4, 6 and 9, since my scores for the test were the highest for these 3 categories. I think i’m most likely a 9 cos I resonated most with the sentences from there.

It is after the hour-long tapping (yes… I can be a marathon tapper!) that I finally found the enrgy to write my newsletter again. So my goal would be to tap on this everyday, and also to tap along with affirmation cards that I bought sometime back and haven’t used in a while.

It’s been a long time since i felt this way. Grounded, calm and energised. Thank goodness I listened to my heart and made the hefty investment in Siew Fan’s healing. She really knows what she is doing and unlike other healing sessions that I have attended, I feel like I am actually making progress in my healing.

Well, the road ahead is a long one, but I think i’m on track – again!

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A client told me about a sexual trauma that she had last year.

“But I don’t feel anything about it”, she said to me insistently, and was almost unwilling to do tapping on it. When I asked her to check with her inner eye, she could imagine a rusty U-shaped metal shield placed around her heart.

I asked if it was alright for us to accept this “dont feel anything” feeling and yet still proceed with the therapy.

When we explored further and did more tapping, WOAH… everything came wooshing out. There was lots of hatred and anger (for good reason), and she had a good time punching a pillow, imagining that pillow to be the man who sexually abused her.

After all the tapping we did on what turned out to be a myraid of emotions,  we ended the session with her feeling like she could now forgive herself for what happened. Best of all, she was willing to imagine the man in her mind and send forgiveness from her heart, which she imagined to be like an open flower.

This case was interesting for me, because I also often “don’t feel anything”, and yet I know there are issues hidden deep within me because of my avoidance to certain situations.

A healer told me that I am one of those people who is hardest to heal, because there hasn’t been individual HUGE traumas in my life. Rather, I go through the kind of typical childhood where everyday, people unknowingly hurt me with insensitive remarks and behaviour. As a result, there are tiny invisible cuts all over me. Each of them barely hurting, and yet as a whole, causing me deep emotional pain.

Yet, I am hopeful, that just as how I have helped this client to overcome the protective shield that she put around her heart because of her fear of getting hurt again, I will be able to heal myself by going to other professional healers and also using EFT in my self-healing.

Sometimes we think that we are ok because we “don’t feel anything”. However there is a real difference between detachment and apathy. When we are detached, we are still able to reach out with compassion, and at the same time, maintain a clear boundary between oneself and the other party. True detachment is the kind that looks upon the situation with warmth and care, and yet not be drawn into it in a negative way.

False detachment is when we HAVE to look away and we can’t bear to face it, because of the unconscious fear that it may remind us of old hurts and pains. And since the life lesson has not been learnt, the same problem manifests in our lives again and again, taking different forms and shapes. And the thing is, we can never really run away from it.

But there is no need to. Thanks to simple tools like EFT, it IS possible to face the pain and let go of it.

Let’s start by embracing this shield that we may have put up around our heart. In your mind, you may say “Thank you shield for having protected me all this while. I needed you around at that time, but right now, I’m ready to let you go”. If that statement was easy to make, then you are ready to face those inner demons with tools to help with releasing them. Face each emotion one by one, and call out the situations that have led to them, and release them with EFT. If this is not easy for you, find a professional EFT practitioner to go through the process with you. We are never alone in this world, but sometimes help can only come if we reach out to ask for it.

If that statement was not so easy to make, tap! “Even though I still need to hold on to this shield, I deeply and completely accept myself, and I am willing to access all the resources within and around me to protect myself in new, healthier ways so that I can move through life with greater grace and freedom!”

Take off the shield and watch those inner demons of the past fly towards light and dissipate in love!

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I was just discharged from the hospital yesterday and today I’m already contacting new and old clients to see when they would like to start or continue working with me.

I do love my work. Why so?

1) It’s a joy to serve others. The mind is a lousy trickster when its focus is on me, me and more me all the time. True, we are very important in our universe, but the more I think about me, the more chances there are to get miserable just because not 100% of my needs are fulfilled all the time.

Having a session with my client gives me the chance to put aside all illusions of fear and doubt, and instead, think about the other person, and how I can help the other person to recognise the wisdom and truths that lie within him or her. I get to see my client as an aspect of God, and that is a wondrous duty, something that I hold dear to my heart.

2) I get to help others who are not in the therapy room with me.

It’s crazy but it’s true. We live in a web of interconnections, and every movement made in this web creates a ripple effect in a thousand directions. Most of the time, I use Gestalt therapy in my work, which is where I get my client to actively dialogue with important persons in their life – usually the parents, and sometimes the spouse.

Personally, I don’t take such work as creative visualisation, where the imagination is used and it’s just fantasy stuff. I seriously treat it as though the parents/spouse/other pple are physically there. And from time to time, I get to hear reports from my clients which confirms that our work actually has a direct impact on my clients’ loved ones, even without their presence or knowledge.

For example, there was that client who tried surrogate therapy on her son who had gaming addiction. During the session, she was to take on the role of her son, and “he” told me that he was simply lonely and felt the gaming was an antidote to the loneliness. After some amount of EFT tapping, he was ready to play basketball with his friends.

Few days after that session with this client, she told me that her son was actually initiating basketball sessions with his friends, without her suggesting him to do so. That was a big wow for me, and a confirmation that surrogate therapy works.

3) I also love this work because it is all about experiencing love and forgiveness. During one recent session, my client was talking to her parents, both of whom have passed on. As my client was crying deeply, I too had tears spilling out of my eyes for I was very touched as well, by the great amount of love that my clients’ parents have for her, which I could actually feel.

I was doing sound healing at the same time, and my client laughed for she saw her father dancing in tune with my singing. When I heard that, I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry.

I think i did both. It’s such a true blessing to be able to experience such touching moments with my clients.

4) It’s my soul’s purpose. I think that’s just it. I was born to do this work, and doing this work makes me very very happy. I would do it even if I don’t get paid for it. The best thing is that I don’t even need to prepare before sessions, or to think hard about how to direct it, like how I hear some other counsellors need to. I simply just go with the flow.

Every moment, I am guided to the next step, and I never know what that next step is until I’m on the brink of taking it – then my heart nudges me gently, and i follow, with deep gratitude for being guided in such a gentle and precise manner.

My sessions are literally a dance with the universe, where I step in tune with my client and all the spirit guides and souls of the client’s signfiicant others who need to be there.

5) My work reminds me of who I am. Hearing the words and sounds that come from me, both within and from a Higher Source, is a blessed reminder that I am a vessel of light and love to come forth from the Divine. Doing the sound toning beings me closer to God, and hearing my clients speak to their loved ones and sometimes to God as well, reminds me that we are only one thought away from the Divine. All we need is to call upon them, and we are instantly in touch with them.

What a blessing it is for me to be doing what I do, and get paid for it. Of course, I still thnk about the money from time to time, but as long as the bills get paid, I would be more than happy to do this job even without getting paid.

Thanks universe… you’re a terrific boss, and pls, do send me more assignments for I love reporting for work!

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What therapy is about

Therapy these days no longer take years and years, where the client lies on a couch and the therapist simply takes notes and listen. With the advent of Energy Psychology techniques such as EFT, 1 session can accomplish the same results as 5 sessions of traditional psychotherapy.

Personally, I feel that while progress cannot be rushed, it can definitely be quickened so long as the client is ready for change. I take pride in facilitating sessions where the client is able to achieve 1 to as many as 4 objectives within a single session, and still maintain a proper pace that feels natural.

Anyway, I am never the one who controls how the session should be like. Yes I do have a number of frameworks wherein I conduct the session, such as allowing the client’s imagination to take the rein, or using the client’s ability to use the breath to seek out the emotional blockage. But ultimately, where the session leads, or how it ends, I know that the client is the one who decides, with the help of the Divine (God/universe/client’s own Higher Self).

My job is simply to provide a safe, nurturing and healing space for the client’s own wisdom to guide him to a place of clarity, confidence and courage. My favourite sessions are those where I follow closely the footsteps of the client’s soul, and somehow or the other, we end up not walking but flying…

I am often humbled by the majesty of the client’s soul, when I allow it to guide us both in the session. The amount of wisdom and LOVE is often overpowering, and there is occasion when I am touched to tears by the enormous amount of love in the room, as my client is having a heart-to-heart talk with a deceased loved one, or with God himself.

That is what therapy is about – to me. The opportunity for the client to communicate with his or her own soul, and with the Divine. Something that should happen all the time, but we sometimes forget, and hence need a neutral servant of the Divine like me to orchestrate. And once done, the client can continue in the same manner, allowing his or her soul to guide him or her along Life’s path – so that it becomes like a beautiful dance that silently heralds Life’s song.

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